Hello She knows best, I went through an abusive relationship with the father of my daughter. It was emotional and physical abuse. He used to trap me in our apartment. He took my bank card many times and left me just enough to buy simple food while he went to work. He would go through my messages and monitor who I was talking to online and stalk my past and also threaten men I had dated before him. Yes, he cheated on me more than once And I still went back three times. I went back because I actually believed what people say about relationships needing work. I told myself he could change. I thought it would be better for our daughter if we stayed together. I was scared. I thought that if I left no one would help me.
Thats because I didn’t have enough proof. I didn’t think to keep records or save messages. I feel like I was too busy just surviving. When I finally told him I was done he kicked me out of the house and I lived in my car for a while. I got by on kindness from friends close to me. After a while I reached out to a therapist. That was one of the best things I’ve ever done after walking away. So if a woman is reading this, please hear me out. You deserve better. If someone won’t value you then you still need to value yourself. Please talk to someone or get help because it is not your fault you are being treated that way. Their insecurities are not your burden to carry. Oh and if you are staying because of the children I get it.
However, no child should grow up thinking that love looks like pain or that relationships are meant to hurt. You leaving might just be the first lesson in self respect your child ever sees. I just wanted to share my experiences with you, I hope it helps another woman and gives her strength.
@valenciaknowsbest
Wow, thank you for sharing valenciaknowsbest. I read this and I cant tell you how much I admire you for writing from your heart and your life experiences. I am sorry you have been through so much and all of this, for the sake of love for your relationship and your children. I think children pick up so much from the relationships they see around them and we as adults owe it to them to model healthy, strong and safe relationships.
hey girl, look your honesty about going back, about the fear, feeling confused, it will touch so many women who are in similar situations to what you have gone through. You shared your story with us and you reminded all of us that healing can happen even if it doesn’t happen straight away. I love that you tell us that getting help is not weak and it’s a big turning point for many women. Well done for choosing yourself, I am proud of you x
This is such a lovely comment
Hey girl, thanks for this I really needed to hear and read your advice. I dont have kids but I have just come out of a terrible relationship with my ex-fiance. all I can say, is that I didnt see the signs and the emotional abuse right in front of me yet I knew it was wrong. love shouldn’t hurt. it should be kind, patient and respectful. love is hard work…yes but this is not an excuse to wear someone down so much that they become a shell of themselves. thank you for sharing ur story with us, I cant tell you how much I needed to read your advice to help me move forward after my relationship ended. thank you.