Am I Helping My Friend To Stay In A Toxic Relationship?

Hello ladies,I’m really torn about how to help a close friend who’s been going through a rough time with her partner. In my opinion, their relationship has been really unhealthy for a while now, and it’s starting to seriously affect her mental health. When I speak to her, she’s always anxious, drained, and honestly… I can see how much it’s weighing on her.

I want to be there for her — listen to her, offer support, and be someone she can lean on. I’m starting to worry that by doing that, I’m enabling her to stay in this toxic relationship instead of helping her move forward or encouraging her to make a change. It feels like I’m just comforting her without pushing her to take any action that could actually help her get out of this situation.

I’m struggling to find the right balance between being supportive and not making her feel like I’m judging her or pushing her too hard. How can I be there for her without unintentionally supporting her to stay in an unhealthy relationship? I don’t want to make things worse, but I also don’t want to stand by and let her keep suffering.

Does anyone have any advice please on how to support my friend? It would be so so appreciated, I dont know how to be the friend she needs. Any help or suggestions appreciated!

@coffeepodknowsbest

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mindfulknowsbest
3 months ago

Hello coffeepodknowsbest, It was interesting reading your post and your dilemma. It’s a really tricky one and one that I can say I really struggled with when it came to my friend supporting me through what was a very toxic and unhealthy relationship. However, I know it was a complicated situation and ultimately I wanted to put my children and their needs first. What I would say is it’s your friend’s decision whether to stay or leave this relationship. She may not be ready to take any action, even if it seems so obvious to you. Pushing her too hard might push her away, so I guess I would try to avoid ultimatums.I advise you to be there for her no matter what decision she makes, and just remind her that you will support her – if and when she decides to take steps toward leaving this situation. I know if I was in her shoes, I would want a friend who acted and thought with the above points in mind x good luck sis, you are a great friend x

crackersknowsbest
2 months ago

hello coffeepodknowsbest, I totally get why you might be hesitating to tell your friend about her toxic partner—it’s not easy, especially when emotions are all over the place. But the thing is – I honestly believe a true friend will want to know what’s on your mind because they care about you and your opinion. Start with a small part of what’s been happening and how it is perceived by you and then see how they react. She might even listen and see things more clearly for herself. Your friend deserve someone who treats her right, and you may be the person she needs to hear it from to take a step in the right direction x

fireworksparkleknowsbest
2 months ago

Hiya coffepodknowsbest, I read your post and the best thing you can do is be a safe space for her. Just listen without judgment and let her know you are there no matter what. She may already have a feeling that the relationship may not be going well or isnt good for her, but your support and love may help her to get to that realization herself. I had a friend who stayed in a toxic relationship for a year and one day when she decided to walk away she told me she was happy I didnt abandon her and hope that she woke up and came to her senses. She said she was grateful that I stood by her to help her realise and make her life choices on her own and for that she valued our friendship even more. Stay strong x

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