Hi SKB,
When I was pregnant, I didn’t care about eating in moderation or being active. It was a difficult pregnancy and I put on a lot of weight. Now that I have given birth, I intend to drop the baby weight quickly but I know my body will still look way different to what it was before.
My partner is into petite girls. After the birth of our son 5 years ago, i have gained 18 kg.Now hear me out – In these 5 years he has never mentioned once that I am too fat for him. I have tried to lose weight for my own sake but can never stick to it regularly as I had and still have, a very stressful scheudle. Recently he told me that he would rate me as a 5 out of 10. I know one reason for that is of course my weight. I know he doesn’t find me attractive anymore and I can’t lie, his comments hurt. It hurt enough for me to actually change something.
What are your opinions? ….I’m looking for real feedback, even if it’s not what I want to hear.
@teacupknowsbest
To teacupknowsbest – As women, our bodies go through so much before, during and after pregnancy. I would suggest you sit down and have an open, honest communication with your husband. Share your feelings and encourage your husband to express his. Focus on spending quality time together. Maybe try to do activities that you both enjoyed before the baby. Prioritise your own self-care as this can help with intimacy and general self confidence. At the end of the day, you both need to be patient and understanding with each other, because you’re in this together, and with time you will find your way back to each other.
Dear Teacupknowsbest
The journey through pregnancy and childbirth and then transition to motherhood is not as simple as society makes us believe.
The charges to our bodies and fluctuating hormones brings its own challenges.
Have an honest open discussion with your partner and express how you have been feeling.
Communication is so important especially juggling life and everything else that mothers do.
He may not even have been aware of how his comments have hurt you.
The most important point is enjoy this precious time with your baby x
Hi @teacupknowsbetter firstly i’d like to say a HUGE congrats on going through one of the greatest journeys in a women’s life, motherhood. You should be so proud of yourself and your body for what you’ve achieved. Us women don’t give ourselves enough credit for our own personal accomplishments and navigating through motherhood is a huge one!
It can be hard to adjust to new changes in your life, however try and take in each precious moment of your child life as your little will grow so fast.
Also have clear communication with your partner, he may not have meant to say certain things but of course those type of comments would hurt. What you need is encouragement and support IF you want to make a lifestyle change and lose weight. However if you’re happy with you’re weight that’s ok too, don’t be hard on yourself. The main thing is YOU need to love the way you look, find yourself attractive and be confident in your skin only then will you find inner peace x